I think I found out why I'm having problems,...

Merrida · 16-Nov-07, 02:10 PM

With the client who isn't budging,...? Turns out she wants to stay on metformin because, she claims, it controls her appetite. Not her cravings mind you (because I pointed out, if it controls her appetite, why isn't she losing weight?) That's when she fessed up that she's eating poor choices but not as much as when she was on other meds. So she feels like she's enjoying a perk of being on metformin and doesn't want to get off the medication, for fear she'll have to be more responsible for her diet.

Anyone got a gun....? Well okay, I do, but you know what I mean,....I want to scream,...loudly. Then thrash about a bit.

**Doc2029** · 16-Nov-07, 05:22 PM

OMG that is crazy. American's you have to love them. No I don't want to work for it I just want a pill to do it for me.

You know the sence of accpolishment you get from shaping your body is great. I feel so good about myself for taking control and changing my self, changing my habbits and not subscribing to the oh it is a virus, or gentics or whatever the popular excuse in the media is today for the obesity epidemic in this country.

It comes down to simply having hit the bottom and saying I have had enough and I want to look better, feel better and change they way I think about myself. As long as people can use drugs, media reports and pop-science for their weight problems they will.

I can see where that would be so frustrating. You have more patience than I...

**LiftGirl** · 16-Nov-07, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merrida

With the client who isn't budging,...? Turns out she wants to stay on metformin because, she claims, it controls her appetite. Not her cravings mind you (because I pointed out, if it controls her appetite, why isn't she losing weight?) That's when she fessed up that she's eating poor choices but not as much as when she was on other meds. So she feels like she's enjoying a perk of being on metformin and doesn't want to get off the medication, for fear she'll have to be more responsible for her diet.

Anyone got a gun....? Well okay, I do, but you know what I mean,....I want to scream,...loudly. Then thrash about a bit.

If she's still overweight, then how is it a perk? She still isn't getting the results she'd really like to have.

Merrida · 16-Nov-07, 05:53 PM

Thanks orkydoc,...but I'm not sure if I should be pleased that I have patience, or angry at myself for being suckered into her verbal explanations. It's a job,...and I learned after she said what she said, that I'm not going to be as "supportive" of her anymore, but rather, I am going to merely train her. Our sessions are what they are. I'm not going to claim or shoulder responsibility.

LiftGirl, she is overweight. If she didn't work out with me, she'd be gaining weight. If she can hover or lose slowly, I'm happy. I would imagine she'd be considerably larger if she stopped lifting.

She wants to lose 15 pounds in 12 weeks, very reasonable goals. Except, she is taking no responsibility to move forward. She could double her short term "goal" as she expressed them if she buckled down,...keep in mind she still has another 20 pounds to lose on top of the 15. It took us much longer to lose her initial weight than it should have,...

She told me at first she wants to get off her medication and get her diabetes under control. Then today she finally fesses up that she doesn't want to get off her meds. This after how long of cornering her on false claims of what she says she wants. Her behavior doesn't follow suit.

So now, the extent of my support comes in the form of: During our sessions. And I withdraw after that. I will be upfront with her, as gentle as I can be, but I have to be honest. If she's happy, then that will have to do,...even if she doesn't reach her goal of 15 pounds. I can always point back to the weeks of my conversations with her about what she needed to do, but chose not to.

I just wish I could convince her that she'd be healthier in the long run getting her diabetes under control and off meds. She's got a mother in critical condition, having multiple surgeries,...a father just as unhealthy,...a host of diabetic related complications on both sides of her family,....enough so, scaring her, rocking her life enough, that she took time off of work to fly home to Germany to be with her mother while she was in the hospital this time because yet again, they had to revive her (this isn't the first time they've had to revive her).

The way she talks about her family and how scared she is about her health, you'd think she'd take this more seriously. But she thinks nothing of eating a whole candy bar then wondering why she feels all messed up.

Truthfully guys, right now I'm angry with her. But I still want the business,...so I'm changing my tactic and just being a little chillier I guess. This is so not my style.

Merrida · 16-Nov-07, 06:44 PM

Oh dear God.

Now she's telling me she doesn't think she'll have time to train this weekend because,..... she's playing tennis.

For the WHOLE weekend?

I want to push this until I can actually be with her face to face now, and I want to have an in-person conversation with this gal.

If she doesn't want to train, she only needs to say so, but she swears she does, and swears her goals have not changed, she wants to lose weight, she wants to be healthier, etc.....

So how on earth do you deal with this when she's verbally telling me one thing, and yet doing another?

**Doc2029** · 16-Nov-07, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merrida

Thanks orkydoc,...but I'm not sure if I should be pleased that I have patience, or angry at myself for being suckered into her verbal explanations. It's a job,...and I learned after she said what she said, that I'm not going to be as "supportive" of her anymore, but rather, I am going to merely train her. Our sessions are what they are. I'm not going to claim or shoulder responsibility.

You cannot take responsibility for her actions only she can. What you can take responsibility for is training her, giving her support and helping her achieve her goals. But if she is unwilling to do the work then really what more can you do? If her health isn't worth it to her there is only so much you can do. Sounds to me you are doing all that you can and than some.

**Lady C** · 16-Nov-07, 08:38 PM

First off - Metiformin is not supposed to control your appetite. It is to control your insulin levels. If she thinks that helps control appetite she just needs a placebo.

I hate to see people like this but it WILL take a life-altering event to MAKE her change her habits. My mother refused to lose weight UNTIL her diabetic medication no longer controled her insulin levels and she was forced onto shots of insulin. She then started losing weight. Unfortunately, she will never get off of the insulin shots now.

Merrida · 16-Nov-07, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady C

First off - Metiformin is not supposed to control your appetite. It is to control your insulin levels. If she thinks that helps control appetite she just needs a placebo.

I hate to see people like this but it WILL take a life-altering event to MAKE her change her habits. My mother refused to lose weight UNTIL her diabetic medication no longer controled her insulin levels and she was forced onto shots of insulin. She then started losing weight. Unfortunately, she will never get off of the insulin shots now.

I just got off the phone with her, because I, too, felt confused. SHE claims she was confused by my questioning her about what her goals really were, (me just seeking clarification because she's adamantly telling me one thing, while vehemently behaving in a non-supportive way),- she was confused as to why I'd not understand that: "[Her] goals are the same as they always were, still wanting to lose 15 pounds and get healthy."

She then tells me the other meds she tried for her diabetes caused her to gain weight, where-by this drug does not cause the increase in weight gain (regardless, she said, of how she ate,...keeping the same diet/lifestyle, this is the only medication she's tolerated that didn't cause weight gain). This was relayed to me as "appetite suppresant" by her, but only through talking with her did I understand what she meant.

I'm not familiar with her circumstances and past medical history to know what other medications she was on for any comparison to know how they affected her weight, if indeed they even did. I'm just going by her words.

So because she doesn't gain weight, she's interpreting its effects as an "appetite suppressant," albeit incorrectly.

I've had a conversation with her, and I am not working with her anymore. We'll take this up again after the first of the year, but I need to see her take some responsibility on her own before I'm investing myself in her.

This is a drawback where once in a while, with some people, my need to help is unprofessional. I get too involved when I know I can help them, and I see some action towards reaching their goals, then only across some time do I see and hear them reveal (ie: fess up eventually!) about their dietary habits.

She finally said at the end of our phone conversation that she does want to get off her meds, she doesn't want to "change" her meds (she's trying to convince me that that is what she thought I was asking of her?),...due to the weight gain just from the other meds alone.

Too many shifts in her position, and I feel too drained. I don't care if it's a job, it's money, and heck, we all can use it. I have let her take too much of my energy. I'm as much to blame.

It's funny because I'm not always like this.

**Gooseneck** · 17-Nov-07, 07:27 AM

Maybe having you drop her will open her eyes a little bit. She's been lying to herself.

Merrida · 17-Nov-07, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gooseneck

Maybe having you drop her will open her eyes a little bit. She's been lying to herself.

I agree. I think it's the smartest move I made. I've seen people so responsive to help, they listen, take advice, and thrive. I had made the mistake of taking her at her word and wanting desperately to believe in her, even if it would be a slow process.

I feel a combination of frustrated, yet relieved because short of something catastrophic happening, being without our regular "push sessions," she's on her own. At least I'll be regaining some level of sanity.

Maxgain · 19-Nov-07, 05:32 PM

I am not seeing the problem with the meds here.

Is she saying that she does not want to lose weight as she does not want to stop metformin?

I presume that is it and you are not saying for her to drop metforimand do the exercise instead. Yes?

The metformin just produces an insulin effect similar to that of exercise improved uptake and tolerance and greater upatek into muscle cells over fat while maintaining steadier sugar levels.

I doubt very much she keeps her glycosylated hemoglobin below 7% so perhaps if you expalin the synergistic efects of exercise with methformin.

Merrida · 19-Nov-07, 06:13 PM

Max, the problem is that although she could exercise and diet her way OFF of that bloody drug, she fessed up to me (after months) that she doesn't really want to get off of metformin because she feels that it supresses her appetite. As Lady C pointed out, there's no such thing. So I confronted this client, and she later fessed up that that wasn't what she meant. What she meant was that she didn't want off the medication because of all the drugs she tried, all the others caused rapid weight gain, and this doesn't....so she doesn't want to risk being without it.

I would never tell anyone to stop taking a medication, I am not their physician.

Anyway, as you've read in my previous posts, (if you read them), I dropped her. I feel that she manipulated me and deceived me, and even though she was paying me money, I'd come home those training nights wanting to pull my hair out. Many nights I'd sit in the car in the driveway for 20 minutes listening to rap, loud, to try and drone out her voice in my head.

I let her get to me that much that I actually had to find a way to "un-do" her. That's so not right.