37 Inevitable Things about Hollywood Movies

[mrzool]

1. The guy wearing the bulletproof vest is always shot and killed.
2. If someone falls in water, they are automatically alive, regardless of the height they fell from.
3. Moreover, if they are incapable of swimming, all they have to do is flap their arms and scream hysterically and they somehow manage to stop sinking.
4. Super high-tech security codes are always broken by a kid. Usually by accident.
5. Heroes have clothing made of a magical material that never gets torn or dirty.
6. Central characters can have loud conversations in public places and for some reason, no one overhears them.
7. The word "empty" is unheard of. Guns never need reloading, mobile phones never need recharging and light bulbs last forever.
8. Hitching a ride with a total stranger is always accomplished in under a minute.
9. The main man is always taller than the leading lady, of similar build, nationality and personal interests. Hell, they probably even sneeze the same.
10. TV families look nothing like each other.
11. No one thinks to check for fingerprints, except when the perpetrator is wearing gloves.
12. Everyone leaves his or her car unlocked in case a fugitive on the run needs a getaway vehicle.
13. Bombs are defused with only a few seconds left. Random guessing usually does this.
14. Prison clothing seems strangely fashionable.
15. No one thinks of taking out the security camera in bank robberies.
16. Bad guys are continuously smoking but never suffer from heart disease or lung cancer.
17. Every seven-year-old kid seems to be wearing Nikes.
18. Old ladies have the annoying habit of crossing the road when a car chase is in progress.
19. People can get thrown through glass windows and not feel a thing.
20. A hat, overcoat and sunglasses are Hollywood's definition of a "disguise."
21. Security guards are always asleep.
22. Maximum-security prisons are infiltrated at least once.
23. Snipers will always miss their target the first time.
24. Public toilets are large, well-lit and are so clean you could perform surgery in them.
25. Hackers always wear glasses and type like hell-bent maniacs.
26. If there is a house fire, the dog always manages to escape.
27. Mothers are under the age of thirty-five.
28. Eighty percent of the time, the bad guy has an English accent or is part of a splinter faction from Saudi Arabia.
29. No one seems to age (e.g. Forrest Gump, who lived through almost every major event in the history of America).
30. Drugs dealers are always sober and self-controlled, despite their trade.
31. Heroes will always kick down doors, even if they are unlocked.
32. Everyone has an unlimited wardrobe and will wear a different item of clothing everyday, no matter how poor they might be.
33. Policemen always shoot first and say "freeze" afterwards.
34. Heroes are incapable of bleeding or feeling pain, especially in hand to hand combat.
35. Stairs are always a faster option as opposed to an elevator.
36. Heroes will radio for backup, but never wait for it.
37. Everything happens in America.

and no i did not write all of this............

[yorkie85]

LOL that's a great list!

And here are some more I shamelessly stole from an email:

38. Large, loft apartments in New York City are plentiful and affordable, even if the tenants are unemployed.
39. One of a pair of identical twins is evil.
40. It doesn't matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one...dancing around in a threatening manner until you have dispatched their predecessors.
41. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible but slightly blue.
42. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to be a world-famous expert on nuclear fission, dinosaurs, hieroglyphics, or anything else, at the age of 22.
43. Honest and hard-working policemen are usually gunned down a day or two before retirement.
44. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies using complex machinery involving fuses, deadly gasses, lasers, buzz saws and hungry sharks, all of which will give their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
45. During all crime investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
46. All beds have special L-shaped covers that reach up to the armpits of a woman but only to the waist of the man lying beside her.
47. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one French bread and one bunch of carrots with leafy tops.
48. If you are beautiful, your makeup never rubs off, even while scuba-diving or fighting aliens. However if you are overweight, your mascara will run and your lipstick will smear.
49. It's easy to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
50. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
51. A man will show no pain while taking the most horrific beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
52. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
53. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
54. If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises in their most diaphanous underwear, which is what they happened to be wearing when the car broke down.
55. If someone says "I'll be right back", they won't.
56. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
57. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel from time to time.
58. A police detective can only solve a case after he has been suspended from duty.
59. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure each is assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
60. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will be able to mirror all the steps you come up with, and hear the music in your head.
61. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

[Titus]

Lol. I only read a couple but I can name a movie that i've seen for each one Nice lists.