TV series called: "CHEATERS!"

[Merrida]

It's done by an investigative company, called, yes, "Cheaters." The disclaimer at the beginning is: This is actual footage of men and women being caught cheating on the spouse. It's our intent to expose the men and women who are not respecting the vows of fidelity in their marriage, and for those are are faithful, as a reminder as cherish the trust and faithfulness you've got.

The Cheaters Detectives literally follow the people around, get them on camera, on several occasions to ensure it isn't merely a matter of friendship. They use real names (wives, husbands, lovers outside of marriage). They show the women the tapes & audio, give them the option of if they want to confront their husbands with this info,....they all do.

Of interest is how many of these men,...the lovers they take on happen to either sisters or good friends of their wives. The women report no affection or sex for years at a time, men coming home late,....they've tried giving the benefit of the doubt but are at the end of their rope.

And,...given the opportunity to either try to move forward alone, or with evidence in hand,....

Philandering given a new medium.

Due to the length of these scenes (surveilance, often daily, many hours at a time),....it's really scary. Most of these wives are also with 1-2 children watching their spouses carry on. Imagine watching your husband have sex IN YOUR CAR with his mistress? In your BED!

Do you believe the wife has a right to know? She obviously had suspicions. What do you think should be done to handle this? They pull the man (and sometimes the girlfriend too) over, with the wife there, and evidence in hand,...nice confrontation.

You should see how these guys try to get out of this, even with evidence. They're so cold, while the women are broken down hysterically....

Well? What do you think? They follow each spouse 2-4 weeks to avoid isolated incidents.

I've seen it all. One guy tried to convince his wife that they caught his twin on tape not him after he tried to convince his wife (after seeing the tape) that the woman he was with was a coworker and it was natural to walk arm & arm and with their arms around each other.

What's also creepy is how these guys take their dates and have sex with them in public in the park, in the bed he shares with his wife, in the car,....and often these women are such close friends with the wives. (One guy denies the panties found in the dashboard belong to this girl....gosh, are they his?) Oh wait, one of these cheaters' wives just commented they have 2 children and she's pregnant with their 3rd,...and he's screwing around.

Anyone who wants to address the sanctity of marriage and its vows,.....? This sounds far more damaging to the institution of marriage than gay marriages ever could be. And if of the gay spouses were cheating, I'd hold them to the same scrutiny re: fidelity.

This isn't entrapment or a honey pot/trap or anything. If you're faithful, you'll walk away without a thing to worry about.

What bugs me is how the men, who have the legal binding contract with their wives,....how many women are more quick to forgive their man (the one who has the MOST responsibility, by relationship, by law) than the girl. This seems to hold true even if the women don't know the women their husbands have been sleeping with.

WHY, oh WHY do women often take their spouses back and are more angry with the other woman who sometimes doesn't even know she's the other woman.

The worst mistake/excuse I've ever heard: It just happened. It's BS wrapped in candy. If it just happened w/o reason, then it could "just happen" any time at all.

I believe infidelity CAN be overcome if both spouses want to work at it, and I do NOT believe it's "the" most crushing thing that can happen. But it sure can be devastating.

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This is awfully sick.''


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[tim_mcf]

What's sick is that this kind of activity has been turned into popular entertainment for the titillation of the masses.

[Dan C]

Let me point out that the women cheat too. I've seen the show a couple times and it was the men who hired the "cheat detectives".

Regardless, I think it's messed up that there is a program profitting off of these peoples misfortune.

[Merrida]

Oh I absolutely agree that women cheat too. Believe me, I'm not biased and hold no degree of prejudice in this department. And I'm just as disgusted by both. It's the concept itself I find appalling.

It does disgust me, too, this whole "reality" thing we've gotten into.....that includes the faux reality, and the real reality (like Intervention, Cheaters, Scare Tactics, Punked, etc.). I think it speaks ill of our evolution (or rather DE-evolution) that we, collectively, find this more entertaining to watch than CNN, ESPN, Public Television, NOVA,....

We're either watching Jerry Springer (false reality TV) tear people apart on TV,.....households being followed around with a camera (Hogans, Osbourns, Growing up Gotti, and whatever the heck else is out there),....or our eyeballs are superglued to the celebrity du jour who's flashing her pink privates for the paparazzi (who no longer need zoom lenses)......that's more entertaining and notworthy to us than advances in space technology, medicine, science, global news, the war and the state of our soldiers......

Naah, we'd rather see what kind of sales we can find on the Home Shopping Channel and Overstock.com.

(sigh)


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[Doc2029]

I agree the feeding frenzy of so called reality shows that either are designed to show human nature at its worst or to embarrass the people on the show is disgusting. However, many of these shows are tied to some sort of cash prize and well most people will do almost anything for the right amount of money. Or even a chance to get that money.

Most of these shows are edited down to 30 min out of hours of shot footage they take the best manipulated footage and that is what you see. I mean who would want to watch 30 min of anyone napping on the couch in front of the TV? But the manipulate the footage so things seem more dramatic than what they are.

It is sad all in all that this trash is so popular. And it seems every week there is a new show that pushes the limits. This type of programing for the most part is cheap for the networks to produce. And if the show is a hit or even does O.K. then they make plenty of money off of it. Not to mention the DVD sales when they release it with "footage too hot for TV".

America is love with junk! Junk food, junk T.V., anything that is mind rot it seems American's will consume. Make them think for a second, make them have to analyze something and forget about it they are gone. Granted this is a very broad statement, but I think it can cover a large segment of the population.

I don't watch a lot of TV but when I do it is usually either shows that are educational or something with a message other than greed is good, consumerism is good. I am not saying I am high and mighty either I watch my mind rot, in fact I am passionate about it. I am a big fan of pro wrestling. I watch RAW just about every Monday night, but hey you have to turn your mind off sometimes. But in general so called reality T.V. is junk

[Doc2029]

Originally Posted by Merrida

Oh I absolutely agree that women cheat too. Believe me, I'm not biased and hold no degree of prejudice in this department. And I'm just as disgusted by both. It's the concept itself I find appalling.

Question for everyone then: If a couple agrees to open a relationship up to include outside relations is this cheating? If husband/BF and Wife/GF say ok we can see and have sex with others it is cool with the both of them is this cheating?

As I see it no. It is what I would call ethical non-monogamy. If everyone involved is fully informed and everyone is in agreacne then I think it is fine. Take "swingers" for example. Couples who go to parties and may or may not have sex with others as long as that couples rules have not be breached no harm, no foul. Many report stronger marriages and relationships and lower much lower instances of cheating. Why cheat when all you have to do is ask for wife or S.O. if they are cool with it. Sounds to me like a more realistic and better system.

But then again I do tend to buck conventional thought and run against the grain.

And of course this goes without saying what maybe right for some isn't right for all....

[Merrida]

Orky, in relation to your post about reality you have an excellent point. There is one more point I'd like to add. With these pseudo-reality shows, they're not affected by "writers strike." All it takes is producers, cash, desperate people, and editors. Voila. And people follow these "reality" series like ants to honey, desperate to live vicariously through other people's lives,....perhaps to gain a sense of superiority because they're not as wacked out as they thought,....or to get a glimpse into the life of their "star du jour" and see what they're up to (as if that isn't staged as well). For reality shows involving stars, again it's publicity.

This is why I prefer DVD's and movies sans commercials, to enjoy.

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[Merrida]

Originally Posted by orkydoc

Question for everyone then: If a couple agrees to open a relationship up to include outside relations is this cheating? If husband/BF and Wife/GF say ok we can see and have sex with others it is cool with the both of them is this cheating?

As I see it no. It is what I would call ethical non-monogamy. If everyone involved is fully informed and everyone is in agreacne then I think it is fine. Take "swingers" for example. Couples who go to parties and may or may not have sex with others as long as that couples rules have not be breached no harm, no foul. Many report stronger marriages and relationships and lower much lower instances of cheating. Why cheat when all you have to do is ask for wife or S.O. if they are cool with it. Sounds to me like a more realistic and better system.

But then again I do tend to buck conventional thought and run against the grain.

And of course this goes without saying what maybe right for some isn't right for all....

You know this opens a can of worms don't you because I tried a comparable discussion elsewhere and have been shot down in flames.

But to add in 2-cents,....in my personal life, I believe in monogamy (although man and only a few animals tend to "mate for life" with one other,...it's said to be a sign of evolution), and I would live my life being monogamous (unless, as you said, I am dating someone and we both agree to see other people,...but even then, sex is high risk now a days, so ya better be damned sure).

My last BF was married for 12 years and they had an "open marriage." I never understood it, but it wasn't my place to. They seldom took each other up on it and both said to me it was "just knowing they could" that often time gave them the desire NOT to, it took away the naughty feeling maybe? I'm not sure.

When it comes to marriage however, I feel the vows are sacred, and are meant to be observed, one to one, no outsiders.

That said, if the couple agrees, as you said, as you pointed out, two consenting adults agreeing to a type of behavior that much of society may not agree with,...as long as THEY agree with it, and with the potential repercussions,...then whatever. Let them do as they will as long as they're not harming anyone else.

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