How you see yourself, and how others see you

[Zackoz]

Im having a small day...in the sense I just feel really small and puny...Monday and yesterday I had crap workouts....not disasterrous but nothing great...and I just feel really pissed off. Something I hate is I cant ever imagine myself being satisfied with my build. And the crazy thing is Ive made a LOT of progress in the last year. This time last year I was getting complliments on my build, dont get me wrong, Im not huge, but if Im honest, I guess I have a good body. Now, a year on, I know Im bigger, I know this from my weight, from measuring my arms, from the heavier weights Im pushing etc...but I look in the mirror, and I just always think "NOT BIG ENOUGH!!". People think Im crazy, Im always gettin the comments; "you have a great body, why do u wanna get bigger?", even though compared to others Im tiny lol. It just sometimes wish I could see myself as others see me, instead of scrutenizing myself every time I look in the mirror. Im making it sound like an obsession lol, Im not that bad yet, its just today really...anyway...just needed to vent...

[.V.]

Well when you get satisfied and say, "I'm fit enough", "I'm big enough", or "I'm strong enough" then the drive to keep pushing, growing, improving isn't going to be there. Then you stop growing and improving.

Whether you are a body weight fitness guy, a marathon runner, a triathalete, a powerlifter, martial artist, or bodybuilder, you've always got to have that drive to get better, and that comes realizing that you aren't as good as you can be, as good as you want to be.

You aren't being mental - just having the attitude to make yourself better.

[Maxgain]

I would of killed every single member on this board 3 years ago to look the way i do now or be as strong as i am now- seriously!

Now I cant wait to get into the summer and add another stone to this 'skinny' frame.

[CF-OC_gal]

You know, that's why appearance goals are not motivating enough for many people. Your friends and family love you for who you are, not how you look so they are not really a good place to look for constructive criticism (or they would be pretty shallow people). Not that there is anything wrong with wanting to look good from your fitness efforts.

Having other, more definate ways to measure your progress can keep you going when the purely subjective ones are starting to lose their power. Maybe you want to reach a certain bodyweight/ bodyfat range combination as a goal or work towards a PR in your workouts or add some other activity as well while maintaining your appearance.

There are lots of ways to achieve satisfaction from your efforts. Think of it this way, you've mastered this level of fitness so you either grow bigger or broaden your abilities. Both will present you with challenges that you can either accept, turn down or run away from.

[Zackoz]

I know....its like, especially in the last 6 months Ive put on a lot of muscle weight/mass...and 6 months ago, if I knew that was gonna happen I would have been so happy and excited, and now that Im here, I still feel skinny, even though I know Im not and compared to what I USEd 2 BE, Im huge!! I guess its like anorexic people...they look in the mirror and see a fat person even though they weigh 2 stone lol

[maverick]

yep, same here. Especially now that I'm cutting. I have to work really hard to put on mass (as most do), so it drives me crazy that I've now dipped below 180 pounds. Last summer I said all I wanted to do was be the same bodyfat with 10 more pounds of muscle by this summer. It looks like I will do that with some room to spare by my honeymoon, yet I feel smaller than last year. Now my goal for next year is to be 190 and cut. SHould I reach that, I'm sure it won't be enough to keep me happy.

[Jaster]

Originally Posted by Zackoz

I know....its like, especially in the last 6 months Ive put on a lot of muscle weight/mass...and 6 months ago, if I knew that was gonna happen I would have been so happy and excited, and now that Im here, I still feel skinny, even though I know Im not and compared to what I USEd 2 BE, Im huge!! I guess its like anorexic people...they look in the mirror and see a fat person even though they weigh 2 stone lol

Yes it is and it's been in the news many times.
I feel it to a point.
You guys know my size and yet I never think I'm that big. I know I am bigger then average but I don't think by much.
Yet I hear things like "Man I like that tattoo I wanted to get something like that but I need to get the arms first" meaning the tatt looks good on my size arm. And "I though I saw you running in the park yesterday but as the guy got closer I could see he wasn't muscular enough to be you."
I think it's that we never see ourselves as others do.
Once in awhile I will see it in a photo. But I know what you mean

[Blaze]

Im the same way. I have a lot to lwork on, all over, especially the "looks", but even that being said, the progress Ive made is really good..but I still won't ever be happy. People have asked me, "So when do you think you'll be happy with your bench? What is your ultimate squat? How much do you wanna lift with this or that?"
my answer is simple...everytime i reach a new PR, it's not good enough anymore. The second after I lift it, it's like....dang, that's too light...I need more!

[maverick]

I feel like maybe one day I'll finally be happy with the way I look, but the lifting numbers I will NEVER be satisfied with!

[Dan C]

Originally Posted by Brat

You know, that's why appearance goals are not motivating enough for many people. Your friends and family love you for who you are, not how you look so they are not really a good place to look for constructive criticism (or they would be pretty shallow people). Not that there is anything wrong with wanting to look good from your fitness efforts.

Having other, more definate ways to measure your progress can keep you going when the purely subjective ones are starting to lose their power. Maybe you want to reach a certain bodyweight/ bodyfat range combination as a goal or work towards a PR in your workouts or add some other activity as well while maintaining your appearance.

There are lots of ways to achieve satisfaction from your efforts. Think of it this way, you've mastered this level of fitness so you either grow bigger or broaden your abilities. Both will present you with challenges that you can either accept, turn down or run away from.

Great post.

And I found the same to be true, Maverick.

[CF-OC_gal]

Thanks Dan! :

I don't feel so much like I accidentally walked into a conversation in a men's locker room now.

[Sarah]

Every dog has his day, if you will. I would suggest changing things up a bit, find your passion and NEVER QUIT. You said it yourself, you've made improvement. The goal is to keep things positive in your life. I am going through a rough spell too, but I heard two great sayings that keep me motivated throughout my life in and out of the gym: 1. There are no excuses just results, and 2. Get rid of ALL your excess baggage, do what makes YOU happy. I would also suggest an amazing book that has changed my outlook; Toughness Training for Sports. Get a hold of it, you'll love it. Hit me back if you get the chance..
Sarah

I think the fact that you are talking about it is great. That's healthy as contrasted with stuffing your feeling for it to grow and make you miserable. An occasional off-day feeling is part of being normal. We can't be on our high horse 24/7/365.

Use this as an opportunity for further self-discovery. Stuff we carry around as an adult often has its roots in youthful experiences or family-of-origin issues. Explore, discover and grow.

Now me, I've got my own issues. Every time I look in the mirror I see a 16 year old kid. I think it's called narcissism.

[jallen]

if i remember right from psych class, it's body dysmorphic disorder. like reverse anorexia. There's probably a pill for it. We'll fix you right up! lol

but seriously i think everyone goes through that type of thing. I don't know if it's cause we're comparing ourselves to others, or we just forget how we used to be, or what. Sure it's motivating but it's probably not good to obsess over it either. Maybe you could just get rid of all your mirrors, perhaps?

[Khaine]

I've put on roughly 35lbs over 2 years (damn, I was 140 when I started, just dawned on me) wit not much fat gain, but I still feel puny and pale and pitiful...