What to do when . . . ? - Page 2

arbit · 23-Mar-07, 03:19 PM

Er, no, I dont have anything against drinking, its just that its not my cup of tea.

**gymgirl** · 23-Mar-07, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Khaine

Drinking does not make you a bad person... Lifting weights does not make you a good person...

I'm sensing some antagonism towards casual drinkers (and really, anybody with a vice) from this thread and I completely resent that... Nothing is as humbling as lifting weights, so I'm surprised to see this superiority complex rear its head here...

Don't mean to hijack your thread here Sophie...

I don't think anyone was antagonising casual drinks, infact i think a few people (myself included) said they do drink on occasion.

There is a difference between casual drinking and binge drinking. I think people are saying that they don't relate to people who are partying/binge drinking all the time. It's not an insult it's just how it is. Different stokes for different folks.

Khaine · 23-Mar-07, 03:57 PM

I don't buy it, but coo... It's not what this thread is for...

**.V.** · 23-Mar-07, 06:39 PM

Hey Khaine, no antagonism from me. I have my own vice. It's just not alcohol. Saturday I'll be DD for a friend who needs to pull a good drunk. My job will be to pick him up at 7p and get him home safely sometime before daylight.

Sophie · 23-Mar-07, 09:26 PM

a_welch: I try to just be myself, I'm just out of the loop so often and can't really add much to many conversations. I just don't fit in with any of my peers, and I never have. I've always gotten along better with people older than me and usually have just talked about intellectual pursuits and very little about "pop culture" in general.

tigz: Thanks. It's nice to know I'm not along. It does get loney sometimes though. Hard to find people to be friends with when they just want to party.

Khaine: I don't think anyone is saying that because one exercises and eats clean, they are better than those who don't, it's just two separate worlds.

**minime** · 24-Mar-07, 03:14 PM

no antagonism from me either, i am a casual drinker myself and yes sometimes I drink way too much. The difference being that i dont like to do it 2-3 days a week, every week (irish people are notorious for binge drinking... i believe we are the worst in europe)

Sophie : don't worry too much about it (easier said than done i guess) I was not a very social person in college, and like gymgirl I now keep in contact with only one person I went to uni with.

My best (girl)friends are actually my sisters and my mom, sad as that may sound lol. Best friend is the man

Its a lot easier to make friends with guys, guys are easy to talk to, not judgemental or 'bitchy' the way girls are. So make friends with guys; and then you all be reading the same magazines

**.V.** · 24-Mar-07, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minime

Its a lot easier to make friends with guys, guys are easy to talk to, not judgemental or 'bitchy' the way girls are. So make friends with guys; and then you all be reading the same magazines

You know I didn't even think of suggesting that...it's a darn good idea.

Oddly enough the best friends I've ever had were all women. Easier to talk to and when I hang with the guys we just get trucks stuck in the mud, shoot things, and blow stuff up. Real freindship has always came easier with the opposite sex for me too. We don't read the same magazines but sometimes sew together.

Whenever I find a chick that likes to shoot and drive in the mud and I've got a good friend for life. In fact, I married one like that. We are more like best friends than married people though but that's actually a good thing as we get older.

**gymgirl** · 24-Mar-07, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minime

Its a lot easier to make friends with guys, guys are easy to talk to, not judgemental or 'bitchy' the way girls are. So make friends with guys; and then you all be reading the same magazines

exactly! my best friend is my man, and my second best friend is a guy i went to HS with and coincedentially he is the one person i mentioned that i still talk to from college!

I have a couple of girlfriends I hang out with on occaision but it's not like we phone each other every day, and I seem them maybe 1 per month.

i agree with minime, make friends with guys. they are much more laid back, not catty, and genearally tend to be more accepting.

Sophie · 24-Mar-07, 11:12 PM

I just get hit on in the gym. I do seem to have more guy friends than girl friends, for the reasons above. I am not a catty person bor do I want to be involved in all the drama that seems to come when girls get together. I don't care and never have.

arbit · 24-Mar-07, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gymgirl

make friends with guys. they are much more laid back, not catty, and genearally tend to be more accepting.

:

:

So um, u do realise u'r bashing u'r own gender right :confused:

**gymgirl** · 25-Mar-07, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arbit

:

:

So um, u do realise u'r bashing u'r own gender right :confused:

I'm not trying to bash, but I call it like I see it.

Maybe I should say not ALL women, but for the most part the women I have encountered tend to be that way, which I why I like sophie and minime have found it hard to make female friends.

Sophie, you should make friends with the guys who hit on you at the gym! Only if you feel comfortable, and they are not being slimy about it. I've made friends with guys who have asked me out or for my number before they knew I had a boyfriend but after I told them I'm taken, we've still ended up being good friends. For the most part guys tend to hit on girls because they get a good vibe from the girl or they find her interesting, so you probably have things in common with them.

JMike · 25-Mar-07, 10:14 AM

Hey soph, I'm sorry you're having a hard time of things. My advice isn't really on par with a lot of what others are saying, so I thought I'd throw it in.

Don't disagree with them. It's going to put you at odds with these folk, when what they're saying and the words coming out of their mouths aren't the same thing. What they're actually saying is that they're scared and don't really understand it. That they *would* like to look better, be stronger and fitter, but they don't know if they'd be able to do it. And they don't know how. So help them.

When they come at you with; "ugh, that guy's disgusting why are you reading that". Counter with "Yeah, he's pretty huge huh? The guy knows his stuff though, and its good to learn from the pros. Kind of like speaking to a Rocket Scientist about your Math(s) homework".

If they pull "You never eat cake, you're a freak" the a smile and a "yeah and it's weird how I never see you putting sugar in that porshce of yours."

Try be on their side, because although you might not have weights in common, you will have other things that you can relate to. Most people have something they're dedicated to and if you can find the relationship or analogy between them to bridge your worlds it'll be the first step to being their friend.

Mike

**LiftGirl** · 26-Mar-07, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JMike

What they're actually saying is that they're scared and don't really understand it. That they *would* like to look better, be stronger and fitter, but they don't know if they'd be able to do it. And they don't know how. So help them.

I think you hit the nail on the proverbial head. I think this is why we all get teased (even in a nice way) by our friends and others who aren't into fitness.

I also have mostly guy friends and seem to relate easier to them. When I make a female friend, she usually has mostly guy friends too. So we'd get along well, Sophie, minime and gymgirl.

The big huge bodybuilders aren't really my cup of tea, but I still admire and acknowlege the hard work that went into it.

Sophie · 26-Mar-07, 05:08 PM

Being at college makes it hard to find guy friends who are also into fitness/working out for the joy of it. There are a couple of guys I see in there on a regular basis, but they have IPODS on so I figure they don't want to be bothered.

Talking about getting teased, the secretary for the psychology department was mocking me today. I usually eat lunch with her and her husband, as well as another student. When the secretary came in, she had just got back from a walk and was saying how exhausted she was. She told me she was mocking me as I ALWAYS say that around lunch time as I had just finished working out before hand.

I didn't say anything back, I was too exhausted from my workout, but some people just don't want to put in the effort. Oh well, their loss.

**.V.** · 26-Mar-07, 11:17 PM

Those that mock are doing so from their own insecurities. You have gotten that far in your psychology lessons haven't you?

Beat her up. You'll feel better.

Just kidding you know.

I can't speak for everyone, and since we don't none know one another personally I may be really wrong, but I think we've all grown to love your sweet online persona. I think it probably reflects you. I wish one of us could make this obviously difficult time better for ya. Most of us have been through it in some form or another and made it through. I believe you will too.