Getting the GF to Workout

[KaiserSose]

Okay, let me preface this post by saying that I'm very comfortable with my gf as she is. She's a beautiful girl and I tell her that everyday.

Now, that being said, I would very much like her to join me in working out. She's probably around ~20 lbs overweight, with the bulk of it being in her stomach and arms. She's got a thicker bone structure, so most of the weight is held pretty well, making her simply appear a little thicker. When she takes off her shirt though her stomach is noticeably flabby, but nothing too major.

What techniques should I use to get her to workout with me, without offending her? Also, how should I convince her to eat better? She overindulges in fastfood, ice cream, etc... when she's in the mood, which is a good deal. I've very self-disciplined and have never really been that into food despite having a really fast metabolism, so I dont really know much about uncontrollable food cravings. Another thing to consider is that she's an athlete (softball) so getting in better shape could help her perform better.

Also, if I'm able to convince her to workout, what sort of exercises should she be performing? I'm worried that since she's got a thicker bone structure, she may just get stronger instead of losing weight.

I know this sounds really superficial, and in a sense it is, but I've always held the belief that working out is good for you no matter what your bodytype. She makes comments now that lead me to believe she is a little unhappy deep-down and not fully confident in herself. I do not plan on pressuring her or verbally abusing her. If she makes it clear that she's not interested, i'll let it drop. But I think its worth a shot. thanks.

[Lady C]

There is no delicate way to say anything to her without offending her. She has to make the commitment on her own.

I would just encourage her to join you in fun activities like bike riding. You can only influence her by setting a good example. Maybe even show her some good nutrition habits.

She should workout just like you do. She will be able to perform any exercise you do but with less weight. If she gets stronger, great, she will probably get leaner too.

[.V.]

Just tell her how much you enjoy working out and the health benefits it gives. Tell her how much better you feel because of it and how much more energy you get from it. Show her the benefits and how it improves your life. Also, point out how good it can be to do things together, the benefits to a relationship from working out together are immeasurable.

And the pheremones released when you get all hot and sweaty in the gym together ain't too bad either. Even if she's a little stinky from the workout, there is nothing sexier than a woman in the gym working hard.

But in the end, it's up to her. Don't push her, don't put her down, don't make her feel bad about herself.

[gymgirl]

Originally Posted by Lady C

There is no delicate way to say anything to her without offending her. She has to make the commitment on her own.

I would just encourage her to join you in fun activities like bike riding. You can only influence her by setting a good example. Maybe even show her some good nutrition habits.

She should workout just like you do. She will be able to perform any exercise you do but with less weight. If she gets stronger, great, she will probably get leaner too.

Lady C and Welch have given you some great advice! I know I jump at the chance to spend some QT with my boyfriend and I take interest in most of the things he does, which really brings us closer. Maybe you can play into that part and like Welch said tell her it would be a good way to spend time together and bring you two closer.

I also really like Lady C's advice about making it fun, bike riding, hiking etc. and most of all lead by example. One thing I have found that has helped my b/f get to the gym (I'm in a similar situation but opposite roles) is after he runs I offer to rub his legs. I also tell him I think he is doing great and am happy to see him being healither. I too would never push him to workout but just want him to be healthy over all.

Talk to her and find out the physical activities she enjoyed when she was younger. Maybe it was skating, throwing the frisbee, volleyball, etc., etc.

Those are activities to start suggesting to her. The activities we enjoy are those we are more likely to do. Your fitness activities may seem like work to her and do not interest her.

You've already received some good advice from the others. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[Gooseneck]

She may thinking of working out as jumping on the treadmill (Boring!!), like the others said, make it fun and start with activities you both can do. The more active she gets the more inclined she'll be to begin an actual routine.

[LiftGirl]

Originally Posted by KaiserSose

Also, if I'm able to convince her to workout, what sort of exercises should she be performing? I'm worried that since she's got a thicker bone structure, she may just get stronger instead of losing weight.

Like LadyC says, women and men do the same exercises, just with lighter weights because we (usually) aren't as strong.

I would not worry about her getting stronger "instead of losing weight." Both can happen at the same time. It's more a matter of diet than bone structure or body type.

[CF-OC_gal]

I'm worried that since she's got a thicker bone structure, she may just get stronger instead of losing weight.

So what if it did? Would that mean to you ?

This is the whole reason behind motivation to change a lifestyle coming from the within the person to better themselves and not just for acceptance by others.

[jomoisfit]

lol, explain to her the benifits of working out, the sexual benefits, she'll comply

[KaiserSose]

First: Thanks to all of those who have responded with advice. I think my approach to getting her more active will be much better now and less likely to offend her.

Originally Posted by Brat

So what if it did? Would that mean to you ?

This is the whole reason behind motivation to change a lifestyle coming from the within the person to better themselves and not just for acceptance by others.

The one thing that is deterring her most from working out is the idea that she will appear bulky. She doesn't want to look like she has ripped arms, she thinks girls look best with delicate features which basically means she doesnt care how strong she is. A boost in confidence for her will probably come from looking better naked, i.e., getting leaner and losing body fat.

Which still leaves me confused. Should I get her started on a similar program to me, with lighter weights and higher reps?

[CF-OC_gal]

Like we always say, looking muscular and ripped as a woman is not an easy task. Take a look at gymgirl's journal and diet plan to see what maintenance is all about when you live that lifestyle. It's something you work up to. It's not something that "just happens" when big framed girls start working out. (I doubt GG was ever big!)

As a matter of fact she will probably never be satified with her looks if she wants to be lithe, delicate and wispy. She's not built like that to begin with and would not get that way no matter what. She's got to find her "sex appeal" within the body she was given. There's no doubt that can happen without an obsessive/compulsive effort.

I see nothing wrong with her doing the same workout as you. Just scale it to her level of conditioning.

The famous exercise video maven, Kathy Smith, started working out when she had a boyfriend who was into running. She used to run with him. Their relationship didn't last but it started her fitness career. You just never know what might happen.

[Lady C]

Originally Posted by KaiserSose

Which still leaves me confused. Should I get her started on a similar program to me, with lighter weights and higher reps?

I would do exactly that. When she gets more educated about what she wants, hopefully, she will change to something she prefers.

[LiftGirl]

She can go on the same program as you and she doesn't need less reps. The only reason we are saying lighter weight is because we girls don't have as much muscle mass, and therefore aren't (usually) as strong as you guys.