Ladies...how are you best motivated?

**MostMuscle** · 16-Mar-05, 03:56 PM

Ladies I need you help again......

I am presently collecting resources/data/interviews for an article I am constructing dealing with motivational techinque for female clients/athletes. Because you are already on DF, most of you are already extremely motivated to continue to push your physical limits.

What I would like to know (pretty please) is:

What type of motivation do you respond better to "internal" or "external" and why?
How do you measure progress? (Numbers such strength gains, lost pounds/inches, dress sizes or other things such as not missing a workout for a month, resisting off limit foods, being able to perform certain activities with great ease, compliments etc)
If you will not progressing, would you like a personal trainer that said that you were not working hard enough & changes needed to be made (which was the case) or would you like him/her to focus more on how far you have come thus far and that everything will be fine?
As a female do you feel a sense of "team" between other females in the gym or is there a sense of a rivialry between females? If so, why do you think this is?

If your answers are very personal, please feel free to PM me your response.

Thank you in advanced.

**Lady C** · 16-Mar-05, 05:14 PM

First of all I am not an athlete. Just Jane Doe

What type of motivation do you respond better to "internal" or "external" and why?
Internal - only I can change me
How do you measure progress? (Numbers such strength gains, lost pounds/inches, dress sizes or other things such as not missing a workout for a month, resisting off limit foods, being able to perform certain activities with great ease, compliments etc)
All of the above. It varies from day to day.
If you will not progressing, would you like a personal trainer that said that you were not working hard enough & changes needed to be mad (which was the case) or would you like him/her to focus more on how far you have come thus far and that everything will be fine?
I would probably make better progress with a trainer - never had one - focus on new goals, not the past.
As a female do you feel a sense of "team" between other females in the gym or is there a sense of a rivialry between females? If so, why do you think this is?
I really don't care who is there. If I had someone watching me each time, I would then start to wonder, if that person was OK? There is sometimes competition between friends.

**MostMuscle** · 16-Mar-05, 05:19 PM

Thank you LadyC...your input is much respected.

velvetpunk · 16-Mar-05, 08:25 PM

What type of motivation do you respond better to "internal" or "external" and why?
Both...if I'm feeling tired or down it helps to have someone else around to motivate me to get off my butt...but at the same time, my own internal motivation is really what ultimately drives me. Nobody makes me take care of myself but me. I don't do it for anyone else.

How do you measure progress? (Numbers such strength gains, lost pounds/inches, dress sizes or other things such as not missing a workout for a month, resisting off limit foods, being able to perform certain activities with great ease, compliments etc)
Strength gains, inches lost, how i feel, how i look in the mirror, making healthy food and lifestyle choices. I don't go by lbs lost.

If you will not progressing, would you like a personal trainer that said that you were not working hard enough & changes needed to be mad (which was the case) or would you like him/her to focus more on how far you have come thus far and that everything will be fine?
I don't need my ego stroked, or any fluffy bs to make me feel good about myself, so I'd rather have the cold hard truth. If I'm not working hard enough or I need to make other changes, I want to hear it straight up.

As a female do you feel a sense of "team" between other females in the gym or is there a sense of a rivialry between females? If so, why do you think this is?
Most of the girls at my gym stick to the cardio equipment or to marathon leg lift sessions. They annoy me. I really couldn't care one way or the other.

**MostMuscle** · 16-Mar-05, 08:27 PM

Thank you for your response, veletpunk!

**midgetcop** · 17-Mar-05, 01:59 PM

What type of motivation do you respond better to "internal" or "external" and why?
It's all internal motivation for me - out of my friends, family members, I'm pretty much the only one who frequents the gym. Everything I've learned I've gone out and sought myself, and everything I've gained I pusheed for myself.
How do you measure progress? (Numbers such strength gains, lost pounds/inches, dress sizes or other things such as not missing a workout for a month, resisting off limit foods, being able to perform certain activities with great ease, compliments etc)
I measure progress mainly by my strength gains, as that is my primary workout goal. Lately though I've been trying to cut back on the bodyfat%, but strength is still the ultimate goal.
If you will not progressing, would you like a personal trainer that said that you were not working hard enough & changes needed to be mad (which was the case) or would you like him/her to focus more on how far you have come thus far and that everything will be fine?
I would like a trainer that would be as honest as possible, but obviously in a tactful way. It's easy to lose motivation when faced with harsh criticism, and I would probably respond best to someone who can motivate me constructively.
As a female do you feel a sense of "team" between other females in the gym or is there a sense of a rivialry between females? If so, why do you think this is?
To be honest - I do silently pit myself against other women in the gym. I use them as a gauge to assess my own progress and abilities. This is going to sound egotistical, but I want to be top dog in the female department. I feel better if I know that I'm lifting heavier than the other women around me. I know that's a crappy attitude, but I'm not going to lie about it. As for the reason behind the rivalry...I dunno. I think that's a very good question....women seem to be competitive with each other in many areas of life.

**MostMuscle** · 17-Mar-05, 02:33 PM

Thank you, Midgetcop!

ajarvis · 17-Mar-05, 03:12 PM

1.What type of motivation do you respond better to "internal" or "external" and why?

For me it's a combination of both. I just plain feel better if I work out, and out of everyone around me I'm the only one that exercises on a regular basis. Externally my SO, while not a regular gym goer himself, knows how important it is to me and always encourages me. I find that helps, as he's always interested in the new weight I was able to squat, how far I ran that day etc.

2.How do you measure progress? (Numbers such strength gains, lost pounds/inches, dress sizes or other things such as not missing a workout for a month, resisting off limit foods, being able to perform certain activities with great ease, compliments etc)

I measure progress in strength gains for weights, and speed and distance for running. I'm always pleasantly surprised when I realize that certain daily activities have become easier because of my efforts. Then, of course, there's the compliments

When I first started working out again about 3 years ago it felt great that everyone noticed I looked healthier and had lost weight.

3.If you will not progressing, would you like a personal trainer that said that you were not working hard enough & changes needed to be mad (which was the case) or would you like him/her to focus more on how far you have come thus far and that everything will be fine?

I would want a personal trainer to tell it like it is. If I'm slacking and thats why I'm not progressing I need to know so I can fix it. That being said if the trainer was too harsh, or rude about it it would really tick me off. That trainer would not be getting a cent more. - Although I would work harder on my own because of it lol.

4.As a female do you feel a sense of "team" between other females in the gym or is there a sense of a rivialry between females? If so, why do you think this is?

This I really can't say anything about. When I'm in the weight area of my gym I'm the only female. I really don't relate to a lot of women in the gym. If I need a spotter for any of my lifts would be a man that helped. This is nothing against women of course it's just that most women don't lift nearly as much weight as I do for fear of "getting big". Personally I would prefer it if there were more women around in the free weight area that I could work out with. Whether or not that would turn into a competition, friendly or unfriendly, I really don't know!

**threenorns** · 17-Mar-05, 04:30 PM

What type of motivation do you respond better to "internal" or "external" and why?

external, all the way. i've tried working out by myself, but my motivation gets drowned in a sea of dishes, laundry, shopping, "aw, christ, not AGAIN!??", and "mooooom, i need my new pants!!!!". when i have someone else relying on me to be there, however, i will be there come hell, high water, or bubonic plague. it's a bit embarrassing to admit, but i also need my partner telling me how great my form is, how well i'm progressing, etc and lord knows, the ex never provided that.

How do you measure progress? (Numbers such strength gains, lost pounds/inches, dress sizes or other things such as not missing a workout for a month, resisting off limit foods, being able to perform certain activities with great ease, compliments etc)

weight lost (although i shouldn't), inches gone, clothes i can now fit into (or at least am closer to fitting into), increases on the weight stack, increases in cutting (decrease in apparent bodyfat), activities resumed because now they don't hurt, all kinds of things. practical, i guess.

If you will not progressing, would you like a personal trainer that said that you were not working hard enough & changes needed to be made (which was the case) or would you like him/her to focus more on how far you have come thus far and that everything will be fine?

absolutely - i LOVED working with the trainer i had before! he was a total dictator, which i permitted because he was hotter'n'hell and the other ladies were totally jealous because he worked with only one person at a time and he picked me. he went so far as to tell me either dump the bf at the time or stop training with him, went through my cupboards and threw out over a hundred bucks in just-bought groceries because they were crap, went through my clothes and literally shredded all the fat clothes i was hanging onto "just in case", and so on. i can't stand diplomacy - i have no time for it. if i've f--d up, just say so and tell me how to fix it.

As a female do you feel a sense of "team" between other females in the gym or is there a sense of a rivialry between females? If so, why do you think this is?

most of the women i see hang together in little cliques as they chitter and chirp their way through the gym. there are a couple of "lone wolves", who work out by themselves and don't talk to anyone.

me, i can't stand 99.997% of the women in the gym but i'm not a lone wolf. i just find them superficial and they waste my time because i have to sit and wait while they finish their 400 reps of five pounds on the bench press while they natter, yak, and gossip about drivel while carefully monitoring mascara and eyeliner levels. i am always with my workout partner and we frequently finish off the visit with a good chat group of me and three or more young men discussing techniques and such.

to be fair, that's a lifestyle preference, not just a gym preference. i have one female friend and about a dozen young male friends (anywhere from 17 to 27 years old) and a few more older male friends (60 and up) who ring me up several times a day to brag and boast about their latest accomplishments, ask advice on getting that special girl or how to get themselves out of the latest jam, and so on; kind of a Big Sister/Dear Abby/Mother Confessor thing. i've found that men my own age are no fun at all - they just want to "get it on" and cause problems.

sillyme · 17-Mar-05, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MostMuscle

Ladies I need you help again......

What type of motivation do you respond better to "internal" or "external" and why?
How do you measure progress? (Numbers such strength gains, lost pounds/inches, dress sizes or other things such as not missing a workout for a month, resisting off limit foods, being able to perform certain activities with great ease, compliments etc)
If you will not progressing, would you like a personal trainer that said that you were not working hard enough & changes needed to be made (which was the case) or would you like him/her to focus more on how far you have come thus far and that everything will be fine?
As a female do you feel a sense of "team" between other females in the gym or is there a sense of a rivialry between females? If so, why do you think this is?

Answers from 36 yr old mother of two - me.

1. Hmmm. . . not sure how to answer that. For me the best motivation is probably internal - feeling stronger - feeling healthier - feeling thinner - and having my clothes fit better.

EDIT - Oh, I get it now. I would say that I like external motivation. You know, a good friend to go to the gym with or a great personal trainer or something like that.

2. Strength gains and loss of flab

3. I would like a personal trainer who will kick my butt - drive me like a drill sergeant, but do it with good intentions, and not to be mean. I had a personal trainer and he was great. The way he motivated me was by working me super hard - he didn't let up. I would be wiped out when I left the gym. The only problem is that I couldn't afford to keep him.

4. That depends. With some women I feel the 'team' thing. You know - I smile, they smile - we make supportive comments to one another. With other women I don't feel rivalry, but I feel like they do. When I try to be friendly they kind of turn away, or they kind of give that up and down check out look that catty women do.

**MostMuscle** · 17-Mar-05, 08:42 PM

ajarvis, threenorns, sillyme.....

Thank you again for your honest opinion and experiences.

Keep it coming ladies, this is all good stuff.

sillyme · 18-Mar-05, 10:57 AM