Need Serious Motivation

[Cinmin]

OK, so I came back to this site after a 2 month hiatus. Here's what has happened:

I had a baby in September of last year and went back to work in January. I started to seriously watch what I eat and exercised regularly when I went back to work (I was allowed to work from home until March). I lost about 10 pounds.

In February, I found out my husband had cheated on me. At first the stress of it made me lose weight but we have since reconciled and are trying to work on our marriage (I won't even go into what happened because that could be 1000+ words).

In March, I changed positions at work so I could work from home permanently. Although it is more work, the freedom to spend more time with my son was too tempting.

Now I can't seem to motivate myself to watch what I eat and exercise regularly. I work out maybe 3x a week but my heart just isn't in it. I still have 25 pounds of baby fat to lose and I'm still nursing.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get my a$$ in gear??

I'm familiar with your Online Journal and had wondered where you disappeared to. Your post helps me understand it.

I'll be perfectly blunt, your motivation has to come from within. Sure we can give you a raw-raw like we like to do, but you've been here long enough that you know exactly what you need to do. I'm guessing that at this point you just don't want it bad enough. So you'll just need to stay where you are at, perhaps sliding a little more until you hit your "rock bottom" of disgust with how you look and how you feel. You may need to pack on another 25-50 lbs. before you get to that point. "Rock bottom" is such an individual thing.

Rock bottom is the beginning of great things happening, because you become sick and tired of being sick and tired and become disgusted with yourself in such a way that you tell yourself that you've had it - no more - things will change as in right now. You take ownership of your situation and, fueled by a strong desire for serious change, do something about it right now. You'll be able to do it when you want to.

To speed up you hitting rock bottom here's my suggestion. Go into your bathroom or bedroom where you have a full-length mirror. Strip down butt-naked and with a hand-mirror turn around with your back to the full-length mirror. Now take a look at your behind looking at the hand-held mirror. Rotate and see yourself from rear, side, front and other side. Ask yourself if you are happy with how you look. Maybe even squat down and take a look at yourself from that position. That will do wonders. Watch your fat jiggle up and down, left and right as you do so. Do this over and over as long as necessary until you get absolutely disgusted with yourself to the level that you hit your rock bottom, saying enough is enough, and look yourself in the mirror and say "no more, things are going to change right now, it's my responsibility and nobody else".

Then get with it, resume your online journal, train hard, knowing that we will all support you in any way we can.

[CF-OC_gal]

Now I can't seem to motivate myself to watch what I eat and exercise regularly. I work out maybe 3x a week but my heart just isn't in it. I still have 25 pounds of baby fat to lose and I'm still nursing.

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through! You are a strong couple to try and work things through.

Don't get too discouraged right at the moment over your lack of motivation. Unless you health or your baby's is in immediate danger then it's not worth stressing about it. From all you've said I would guess that you have other higher and more important priorities to take care of.

That is not an invitation to excuse your fitness concerns, just a reminder to keep it in perspective. This may sound quite pollyanna but perhaps you could see if making fitness a family event to help heal the riff would be a benefit all around. I'm a firm believer that body image and health concerns should be shared or at least respected by both parties in a relationship. If it isn't then feel free to be a little selfish and do it for your own self esteem.

Come join us again.

[SarahPT]

I'm sorry you have been going through tough times. I agree that motivation has to come from within. You have to want it for yourself. That being said, signing up for some sort of sport activity or working with a trainer to get on a set program or something like this might be helpful for you.

Sarah

[Cinmin]

Thanks for the words of encouragment and the kick in the a$$! I think I just needed something new to motivate myself and get out of my rut.

It may sound lame, but I found a new website to track my food and it has other good resources (Free Diet Plans at SparkPeople) and it's fun and different. It actually has me a little excited.

[Cinmin]

That was weird. I didn't type in Free Diet Plans at Sparkpeople. Only the link.

[CF-OC_gal]

Originally Posted by Cinmin

That was weird. I didn't type in Free Diet Plans at Sparkpeople. Only the link.

It happens all the time here. I think it is a cool feature .

[CF-OC_gal]

That looks like a pretty big community, much like ivillage's diet and fitness section.

If it works to get you on a regime then great. The only caution I have is that it is weight loss focussed much like weightwatchers. If you end up losing the weight then you no longer feel like part of the community so it is very hard to "let go" and finish the job because of the emotional connection.

Hope you you keep one foot in our doors here too.

[mangotango]

I would agree with the person that also said joining an organized group or team or getting a trainer will help you in motivating yourself - especially at the beginning. I'm part of a Masters Swim Team and it's always embarassing when people ask where in the world I've been if I don't show up...they give me a hard time (jokingly) and it makes me want to go more...