Please Help

[musicedu]

I am 28 yrs old, and a mother of 2 wonderful children. Five years ago, I spent time in the Marines, and when I came home, the pounds slowing started packing on. Then after my 2nd child, the pounds kept coming. Now, I'm bigger than I've ever been, and I want so badly to be in good shape again! I wasn't even going to post, but after seeing some before and after pictures on here, I know I can do it too! I want to be in shape so bad, that I literally ache inside! No woman in my family has ever been in really good shape. They've tried all these fad diets, lost some, and put it all back on. I will NOT be like that!!! I've listened to my mom talk about losing weight her whole life, and she's still just talking! Why, if I want it so bad, can't I just do it?!!! For the past 4 yrs, I've started working out, then stopped...over and over again....and my eating habits SUCK! I swear, I need someone to tell me what to eat for breakfast, lunch, & dinner. I want to make fitness my hobby...something just for me, and something that will benefit not only me, but everyone around me....my children, my family....my students (I teach private music lessons out of my home). I will be more respected by others, because my actions will show that I have the determination and discipline to conquer anything. If anyone can help me, I would GREATLY appreciate it. I don't want to be a body builder, but I want to be able to wear a bikini in public and look good. I would like a REAL diet plan that isn't a "diet", but a change for life. I'd rather not use powders, shakes, or pills, and I'm tired of reading weird recipies that take 20 min to make and taste horrible!! I am 5'8", and (dare I say) 180 lbs. My goal weight is around 140. I have alot of muscle. I am an endomorph.

Thank you so much for reading this far. Maybe if I become accountable to this group, I will start doing and stop talking!!!


*Dawn

[cursor]

Welcome Dawn. I'm glad you found the strength to start this thread.

As I'm sure you're well aware, fat-gain is the result of eating too much (or at least of eating too much of the wrong things) and not being adequately active. Activity can be in the form of planned exercise sessions, or simply living actively. Finding a balance between the two is what you should be seeking.

Do you currently exercise? When (both in terms of 'during the day' and 'during the week') would you have free time to push your body through a workout? How are your meal-fixin' skills?

[musicedu]

The hardest thing for me is making the right food. I homeschool my 7 yr old son, watch my 1 yr old daughter, and teach private music lessons out of my home from early afternoon until about 8-9pm every night. But no excuses!! However, it would be WAY easier for me to eat right, if I knew exactly what I was going to eat, at exactly what time, and followed it like a schedule. Otherwise, I snack all day on bad food and never really eat anything good for me.

And I will have horrible cravings. So bad, that I end up splurging on a candy bar and a coke or something else bad for me.

I need to learn what foods are good for me, as a woman, with my body type. I guess I'm considered a pear shape, and an endomorph, but at 5'8, I can SORT OF hide my weight well.

[Lady C]

Here is a great grocery list. Make meals from these ingredients that suit you.

[musicedu]

Thank you so much. That grocery list is really going to help me.

Are there foods that are better together than others? Someone once told me that certain foods, together, burn more fat and are better for you. Is that something I should read about and study?

[Lady C]

I've heard that before but never found any proof. If it isn't on that list then don't buy it (even for your kids) they need to learn to eat better too. Read this thread, it covers lots of the basics.

[lara34]

Hi Dawn,
I am 34 yo and have 2 kids, 6 and 4. I can identify with eating whatever is around, and agree with Lady C -- just don't buy it. My family no longer gets the chips and cheese dip snacks they love unless it's a special occasion. However, I wouldn't let the kids diet hold you back. Even if you are making them chicken nuggets or mac & cheese, don't eat it, and I know, it is convenient and saves time. If you have to resort to convenience foods, buy yourself the lean cuisine meals or something, and try to have fruits around, jello cups, applesauce, or even a bowl of cereal.

Now I am close with my mom, and if you are too, then please don't take this personally, but if your mom is just a talker, then hard as it is, don't talk about losing weight with her. 1. From what you say, she is obviously not an expert on the subject, and 2. She probably won't be your best source of motivation.

You are fortunate, in that you used to be a marine! You can do it, and obviously have the discipline, or have had it in the past, so this will work in your favor!!

Sounds to me like you are very overwhelmed, and maybe a good way to start would be to gain realization of what isn't working for you, and then change one thing at a time. You are a busy mom who is also working, and sounds like you don't have a lot of time for yourself, and you are very home-based.

For example, before radically changing your diet, make a food log of what you are eating. You don't have to tell anyone about it, but you do have to keep track of portions and all the extras like the candy bar and soda. There is a great software program called DietPower that helps you realize your portions and nutritional balance and has a food log built in. Go to dietpower.com to download a free 15-day trial, and this really helped me lose at the beginning of my journey.

You mention that you keep starting and stopping, and this is where you need to pinpoint what it is that is stopping you. Make a list of your "excuses" and see if you can't overcome them. Use us if you need help.

I am big on schedules and routines and your kids will benefit from this as well. Maybe you and your 7yo could have "gym class" as part of his home schooling? Does your 1yo still take a nap?

Please keep in touch and best of luck to you!
Lara

[threenorns]

pardon my french, but i, too, have been p--g and moaning about my weight for the past six years after a jealous boyfriend made it too uncomfortable to keep going to the gym. he couldn't understand why i always work out with young men - he can't accept that the "ladies" at that gym drive me freaking mental because they spend more time examining their makeup in the mirror than actually moving iron and the older men treat me like i'm a fragile freaking flower.

after the third time i wound up in emerg and the doctor told me in no uncertain terms that i HAVE to get rid of this flab (240 at 5-2, combination meso- and endomorph). right after that, my former workout partner called me out of the blue and begged me to come back to the gym and train him - i saw it all as a whack in the forehead from some higher power saying "GET A FREAKING CLUE, CHICK!!!" and jumped at the chance. i told the BF he can like it or freaking well lump it. to my surprise, he backed down and has been very supportive, even giving up the treats, cakes, and cookies he likes to keep handy around the house. who knew?

you have two ways of going about it:

you can do like i did and jump into obsession with both feet foremost, or you can start gradually with walking three times a week. whichever way you choose, you MUST make that time period a TOP priority. i have actually bailed on the birth of my neice because it would've messed up my workout schedule. i rescheduled job interviews and cancelled important appointments. when someone asks me to do something, the first thing i ask myself is "will this impact on my workout schedule?".

basically, my whole life centers around my workouts. some see this as not a healthy way to be, but it's the way my own peculiar mind works and i really don't want to have to walk around with a freaking heart monitor again - people *stare* at you as if they're expecting you drop dead of heart attack any second.