The never ending story

Alright let's try something new here, I call it "The Never Ending Story". Here's how it works.

I'll start the story with a short paragraph or two, then it will abruptly stop. Someone else will continue with the story, say another paragraph. Then another poster adds, etc., etc.

The goal is to make a great story that never ends, one that will draw many chuckles and keep everyone in suspense, and encourage alot of participation. Oh, do remember to keep it clean. Thanks. I'll start.

All during high school Hank was an athletic and superfit person. He excelled as a member of the high school football team, played recreational basketball and even did a couple of fun runs during the off season. In college, concentrating on his studies and discovering the joy of college social life, he lost interest in these activities when he discovered college parties, fast food eating and tailgate parties at the college football games. By the time he was a senior in college, athletic and superfit Hank had gone from a 210 lb. chiseled and lean & mean fighting machine to a 260 lb. chubby and fleshy young man. But in Hanks mind, everytime he looked in the mirror, he still saw the athlete he was just 4 years earlier.

One day Hank was walking on campus towards the library, and looking ahead he saw 2 beautiful young college ladies walking in his direction. Distracted by their beauty, Hank dropped his car keys right as these young ladies were approaching him. He smiled at them, then bent down to pick up his keys when all of a sudden he heard a loud rip sound and he realized that he had ripped the seat of his pants. The young women noticed what had happened and . . . .

looked over their shoulders to see a starship from the planet AZON homing in on them, blasters firing rapidly in their direction. Their first blast caught Hank right in the behind and his tyvek underware was all that saved him from certain doom. While under heavy fire the ladies quickly grabbed Hank and tried to pull him under the nearest air raid shelter (a long, low tyvek and concrete structure that has proven effective against the AZONITES attacks) but because he had put on so much weight since high school he was unable to squeeze through the opening.

[Maxgain]

"Are you alright said the voice" Hank awoke groggily confused. He then realised he was on the college campus the shock of ripping his pants with the extra 40lbs he was carrying in the midriff had sent him off balance and he had knocked his head of the ground.

That ridiculous scenario with the aliens had all been a dream the shooting guns the rapid fire of nerves signaling the pain before he had fallen fully unconsious. He looked up to the voice and.............

[The Flash]

Hank saw a number of Oompa Loompas carrying loads and loads of candy and singing a jolly song he remembered from his youth. They offered him candy as the perfect remedy for the fall he had suffered. Just as Hank was about to reach over for the candy he paused and remembered the cause of his sudden crazy imagination. He tore his pants in front of two lovely women. He politelty declined the candy and realized it was time for a change. Hank made a choice. That choice was from this moment forward he would...

[Your_Crazy]

Train to become a russian fighter pilot. It was his childhood dream to fly and since the fall of the Soviet Union he figured it would be as easy as pie. (MMMMM!!!! Pie. Hank thought to himself.) He also had a way to get back since his great Uncle Slovistakof lived in the former Soviet Union and was thought to be ex-KGB. But Hank would have to first..............

graduate from college since that is a promise he made to himself and to his parents as none of his ancestors had ever gone past high school and Hank would be the first college educated. But with a 2.0 grade point average and struggling with this semesters courses, Hank knew he had his hands full in fullfilling this promise. So he thought he should continue heading towards the library and put a couple of hours in studying for his upcoming midterms. But he felt a growl in his stomach signaling he was hungry and the thought of pizza entered his mind. So he decided to get a bite to eat, did an about-face and headed towards . . .

the dining hall with the two hot young ladies in tow. Even though the thought and smell of pizza was coursing through is brain (making his mouth water) he couldn't help but wonder when the next attack from the AZONITES was going to commence. Deep inside he knew that one of their tactics was mind control and they made everyone think the ridiculous scenario with aliens was simply a dream. It was imperative that a Russian fighter pilot be up on these developments. His mind was getting to the point of overload - aliens, pizza, hot college girls......

[Your_Crazy]

ripped pants and an unexpected cellphone call. Hanked checked the number on the phone but it was blocked. "Hello" said hank. Then a mysterious voice came from the other side. "We are watching you and know what you are trying to do. Do not proceed or you will not live another day." The phone hungup and Hank was left wonder what was going on. He decided to..............

Take his meds and call his psychiatrist. Hank had been diagnosed with a double mental disorder his sophomore year in college. While the 3 psychiatrists he had seen had different diagnosis, the common diagnosis was that he was bi-polar and experienced paranoid symptoms when in the mania phase. The meds did help stabilize his condition but also contributed to the weight gain he had experienced. Everytime Hank started feeling better, he quit taking his meds which would work for a while, but eventually he would relapse and exteme episodes of depression followed by mania would follow. Hank reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, then began to . . .