What are we so afraid of?

[Merrida]

Oh Max I'm with you. I'm not talking about starting up a conversation with a total stranger as I'm passing by on the sidewalk or stuck on the eternal/infernal long ride in an elevator. But I'm just amazed at what lengths people will go through to avoid something as polite as eye contact, and as you mentioned, even a little "nod of acknowledgement." A tad courtesy, that's all.

I tried it three times today (twice on my walks which take me along blocks that run along our main road, so I have plenty of opportunity to "see" people) and once on the stair well ---(our gym has over 3 floors, if you count the dungeon, and no elevators,....yeah like that's real smart for our clients using walkers and canes, eh?)

Amazing. Nothing.

Interestingly at work, the ones who DO tend to make eye contact and be the friendliest and most outgoing are the housekeeping and janitorial service people. Beyond that it seems people would rather look at the opposite wall than risk saying hello, even if to continue their stroll on by.

And not a problem to like time to one's self & ponder the meaning of life. More people ought to do it. I just fail to see how spending 2 seconds acknowledging another human being's presence is detrimental to your state of zen awareness.

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Originally Posted by Merrida

But I'm just amazed at what lengths people will go through to avoid something as polite as eye contact, and as you mentioned, even a little "nod of acknowledgement." A tad courtesy, that's all.

Now you know what a homeless person feels like. I live among them and while I don't give them money, I try my best to acknowledge them with a hello and conversation.

And there are others who experience this cold world day in and day out. People with dark skin, physically unattractive people, extremely obese people are just a couple of examples.

[Merrida]

I agree pierini and I think you bring up some excellent situations, probably the most obvious. Let's not forget how uncomfortable people feel around the disabled as well. It's as if,...if I don't look, they're not there. Or the fear that acknowledging them is to see that which we don't want to view.

I'm glad you take time and conscience and good spirit to do what you do. Who knows just how much light you may bring to the lives of these people that world often passes by.


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[Maxgain]

Originally Posted by pierini

Now you know what a homeless person feels like. I live among them and while I don't give them money, I try my best to acknowledge them with a hello and conversation.

Do you believe in that?
I have no problem ackowledging them would never look down at them. But I would believe me to acknowledge them as Im walking by as they have their cups out would give them that instant false belief that I am about to give money and thus disappoint them.

[LiftGirl]

Originally Posted by Merrida

Let's not forget how uncomfortable people feel around the disabled as well. It's as if,...if I don't look, they're not there. Or the fear that acknowledging them is to see that which we don't want to view.

Sometimes, you're not sure how they'll react. Of course you should say hi. But one time I saw a young woman, college student age, struggling after a blizzard we had here to get her wheelchair over the curb. (The ramp was totally unusable.) I didn't know if I should help her or leave her alone. Sometimes they are really glad for the help, but others get mad if you offer. She got herself onto the curb just as I was going to approach her.

[Merrida]

Originally Posted by LiftGirl

Sometimes, you're not sure how they'll react. Of course you should say hi. But one time I saw a young woman, college student age, struggling after a blizzard we had here to get her wheelchair over the curb. (The ramp was totally unusable.) I didn't know if I should help her or leave her alone. Sometimes they are really glad for the help, but others get mad if you offer. She got herself onto the curb just as I was going to approach her.

That's a really good point because you don't know if your offering assistance is coming across as condecending,...or if it's viewed like offering help as one might to anyone. There are issues of independence to consider. Good point, and it seems like there's not a universal answer.

Remember that show where they took a beautiful model and put her in a fat suit in a particular dress,....she spent a day living like a fat version of herself. The next day she wore the same dress (her real size) and went to the same events (like shopping, getting coffee, etc.) and saw for herself just how differently people looked at her (or did not look at her, she noticed a lot of avoidance of eye contact with the fat suit), people offering to help carry her bags (when she was skinny and probably needed less help than an overweight woman),....what stood out a lot, besides the prejudice, was that this model was actually brought to tears. It made an impact, one she'll never have to relive, but maybe opening her eyes helps relay a new message.

Heck, it's a start.

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