Outrageous October Talia's

I learned the term "dry drunk" talking to someone I knew who was an alcoholic working a recovery program like AA. It refers to someone who is abstaining from drinking (a good start) and miserable because they are not working on other personal improvement issues that are part of true sobriety (the goal).

A dry drunk will muscle out their abstinence but in the back of their mind they may be telling themselves that on a special day they will have just one drink to "celebrate" their accomplishment. Their relapse is not the drink they will have down in the future; rather it is the mindset they currently have.

So does that help you understand my dry drunk reference?

[sweetdream]

I think I get it...so basically it's someone who is in the mindset that they can't have XYZ now but they will get it have that XYZ sometime in the future?

I don't think I am miserbale my any means...I think it's really teaching me discipline but what I really need to work on is self control when I finally allow myself to have something that I haven't had. How much do I eat? when do I eat it?

today we celebrated someone's birthday at the counseling center and they had some kind of apple pie but in a cake dish. I had 3 bites (half of a slice from a probably 16 sliced up rectangle baking dish). I was proud to only eat that much and I knew from not eating it recently that I didn't need to eat that much to be satisfied but when it comes to dinners like Thanksgiving I wil be surrounded with so many choices that I KNOW I will over indulge

So in the end, I think it's great that I am challenged with these no eating XYZ for Q's length of time but in the end what is it really teaching me? I know I won't stop eating these things my whole life but I also know that I won't ever go back to eating what I want when I want.

See where I am going?

Anyways, today I did a 32 min rollerblade
1.behind head triceps sitting on ball. 3 sets, 12 reps, 14.5lbs
2. bicep curls 3 sets, 12 reps
3. overhead press 3 sets, 12 reps
15 min elliptical

[sweetdream]

yesturday I ate park of my friends chocolate chip cookie dessert and it was delicious. guilt, a little bit, mostly proud that I allowed myself to have something like that knowing that I don't have to eat it everyday. I am going to try and have something once a week, nothing huge, just a small candy bar or an ice cream cone or a chocolate chip cookie and I think that will satisfy me enough to last me a week!

yesturday's workout:
20 min elliptical
20 min stair climber
5 min treadmill

today:
REST

[sweetdream]

today's workout

"21"

Shoulder press 2 10lb db, 21 reps
back extensions, 21
bicep curls -19lb barbell 7/7/7
incline scull crushers with pump 31lb straight barbell

3 rounds completed
end with 3 rounds of 30 second planks on bosu ball

Eating: This morning I was like a freakin vaccum! I had a slice of cold pizza that my dad brought home last night (I really don't consider this pizza to be bad either, why? b/c the dough doesn't have any preservatives in it and the only bad thing is that it isn't whole wheat but it isn't loaded with calories like pizza hut and all those other places- and this one only had cheese on it). So I ate that then while I was making my tofu scramble I had some peanut butter- which OMG I can't stop eating! I love it! I am not sure what it is about it~
at work I only had an apple for a snack and then a tuna salad I made with grape tomatoes and a hard boiled egg. I wasn't too hungry during work because I find myself doing more than when I first started working there and when I got home I had some left overs from dinner

I get re-tested thursday and I just have a feeling that I didn't accomplish anything and as I type this I realize that is negative, I have been doing really good workouts and I shouldn't be so negative I am trying to be more of a postive person but it's hard to do it all the time so little by little, right?

[minime]

hey talia, I hope your re-test goes well!

[sweetdream]

October 14th:

cardio: 30 min elliptical
1.Leg press 3x10 (90lbs)
1 x fatique (25 reps-50lbs)
rotate with
2.leg extension 3x30 splits 50lbs
straight leg deadlift on bosu balance 3x12 (31lbs)
crunches on ball 3x10
hanging leg raise 3x10

october 15th
cardio: 30 min elliptical
1. bench press
1x10 75lbs
2x8 80lbs
2. back extension fly with 10lb plates in each hand
1x12
1x11
1 x 10
3. sitting cable row
1x15x50lbs
1x12x60lbs
1x10x70lbs
4. 20 regular push-ups
2 sets of 15 on bosu with smurf pillows

[sweetdream]

Thanks Minime- well I am pretty pleased with my results

my weight stayed the same at 132 which I am starting to realize I may never get back to 132, but I won't give up and I WILL keep trying haha!

I will do it like this:
blood pressure then 114/72 blood pressure now 110/62
Measurement 8/26 10/16
chest 35.50 35
arm relaxed 11.50 11.25
arm flexed 11.50 11.75
waist 27.25 26.58 WAHOO haha
abs-navel 27.58 27
hips 35.75 36
thigh 18.75 18
calf 14 14

body fat (m.m.)
thigh 28 28
tricep 19 18
abds 25 24
suprailium 16 16
% 24% 23.8%

step test 85 90
step test range-excellent to just great

flexibility 39 39

So these are some pretty stellar results in my mind looking at the bigger picture, I wish I could go down in weight and she said it's probably because I am focusing a lot on weights (she sees Jen and I work out everyday) so she suggested if I really wanted to lose pounds to do cardio on the other 3 days I don't do weights so I think I will try that out and just do weight training mon, tues and wed and then thurs, frid and sunday do just cardio. She also said it might just be a plateau which I am thinking it is, or I just need to tweak my eating habits. So I am going to try a few things, the more cardio (not extreme amounts just 45 min on the days I don't do weights) and eating less fat like I said I wanted to try before so I am going to aim for 49grams average this month and in November 45

Garrett and I went to letchworth state park today and it was amazing! beautiful! it was fun! I am glad we do things like that! I got a bunch of leaves and acorns and stuff to make for a frame, just gotta decide what pics to use and how to do it! haha

[minime]

glad to hear you had a positive experience with your re-test talia!

the park sounds beautiful.

[sweetdream]

minime-so am I! haha --I have some pictures up on myspace if you want to check them out www.myspace.com/sweetdreamerzx2

so this morning I ate 2 butterfinger fun size candy bars and they were delicious! so that was my 1 day a week chocoloate/bad thing to eat. Last night I was really hungry from the alcohol munchies but didn't eat anything too bad. We went out to eat and I got an Italian chicken salad with dressing on the side and when I came home I pigged out on Teddy Grahams! HAHA As I typed that it sounded really funny- I pigged out on TEDDY GRAHAMS- who pigs out on Teddy Grahams?!?! well, I am just glad I am past the point where I have to say I pigged out on ice cream or chips and pretzles with dip!

So I am actually very proud of that!!

october 16th- 45 min octane
october 17th- 25 min elliptical-gluteal
abs-full 3x15
abs leg raises 3 x12
elliptical 20 min weight loss program

Today is my last day serving at Applebees and I wish I didn't even have to go but I need to make some money to buy food for this week. I am pretty much out and I can totally tell by my pigging out on Teddy Grahams!

today: rest day--my right calf is very sore today!

[sweetdream]

yesturday:
22 min elliptical
10 min row
15 min elliptical

Had some salty stuff and picked on a lot of little things over the weekend. Didn't do as bad as I normally do but I went to the grocery store yesturday to get some food so hopefully it will hold me back from eating bad

[sweetdream]

October 20th-
30 min elliptical
upright row paired with shoulder press 31lbs, 1 set, 12 reps
abs-v sit- 15 reps
upright row paired with shoulder press 31lbs, 1 set, 12 reps
abs- v sit-15 reps
upright row paired with shoulder press 31lbs, 1 set, 12 reps

rear delt fly on stability ball 8lb db in each hand, 1 set, 12 reps
5lb dumbells front and lateral raise together, front with left side, front with right side counts as 1 rep, 1 set, 10 reps
rear delt fly on stability ball 8lb db, 1 set, 12 reps
5lb front/lateral 1 set, 10 reps
rear delt 1 set, 12 reps
5lb front/lateral 1 set, 10 reps

I ate a lot of freakin bread today ;/ oops... the thought just came to my head of "how bad do I want it" and so this has just taken me into that zone of wanting it really bad to be really good and to get to where I want to be!!! I am aiming for 130lbs by the end of these next 6 weeks damn it! I just wish I knew what to change to get there so from now until the first thursday of December and also 4 days before my birthday so I want to be at least 130 by my birthday!!!

[minime]

Talia - you say you wish you knew what you could do to lose weight.... well if you want my advice then here it is

for the next six weeks, no bread, cereal, popcorn, pretzels (this is on top of the original no candy etc.)

basically in your food journal only have - meat, eggs, fruit, vegetables, fats (nuts, olive oil etc.) and leave the processed stuff on the shelf.

[sweetdream]

hey Minime, I replied on your journal. I seriously just can't eat this way. I go insane, it's like being a vegetarian all over again stressing about food. I think I just need to seriously learn the rule of moderation and I am making a goal to eat only 1 time per week (this week will obviously be more- I already planned a pizza and pumpkin carving date with my boyfriend) to eat either popcorn, bread, pretzels, ice cream, chocolate, candy, chips, cereal, crackers, or cookies. I will chose 1 of these and eat it in moderation 1 day a week and that's it! I think I will have a better chance at that than to avoid them altoegether, I just can't do it, it's not me.

my number one problem is processed foods so I am really going to work hard at this because Minime you tell me all the time I need to avoid this **** and then I'm still here complaining how I can't lose weight! LOL

[sweetdream]

October 21st, 2008
cardio- 30 min elliptical
*leg press 60lbs 3x10
*squat on cable with 1 leg on weighted ball 3 x 12 both sides
*donkey kicks 3 sets each leg 10 reps, 20lbs

october 22nd, 2008
cardio- 20 min elliptical
bench press
1x80lbsx10
1x80lbsx9
1x80lbsx8
arm raise bench dips
3x12lb dx5
cable bicep curls
2 sets x 20lbs x 10 reps
1 sets x 30lbs x 10 reps
tricep dips
3 sets, 10 reps

[sweetdream]

today:
22 min elliptical @ home
abs:
single leg stretch-1 min
saw-1 min
side kick-1 min
double leg stretch -1 min
jog-2 min
repeat 2 more x's
elliptical 22 min

Tomorrow will be day 1 of my new watch what I eat and be more active 6 week plan. I am going to elliminate the evils 6 out of 7 days and on the 7th day choose something "unhealthy" to eat, in moderation.

Minime- I believe you are right, I went from walking around with a sense of urgency to sitting down most of the day and walking at a slow pace. Not sure how to incorporate this into workouts. I can't make them longer when I am at work but the days I am not at work I could spend more than an hour on a workout but then what day would I take off?
I really do need to take care of my diet better though. more veggies definitely! I want to eat at least 2 fruit per day and have the rest veggie/protein/fat sources.
we will see...but yeah I feel stuffed from all the pizza and peanuts I ate today so I am glad to say I am looking forward to some clean eating the next 6 weeks!
Tomorrow my friend and I are doing a dinner and movie- I saw menu online for a little bit for the restaurant we are going to and defintely some healthy options-mostly salad if I want to avoid things cooked in oil-but luckily we are doing dinner first so I can avoid thinking about eating and getting snacks at the movies! thank god! usually we go to her house and hang out but to be honest she lives way too far and I get so tired early because I don't do much haha. speaking of tired I really need to get ready for bed!!! I am so sleepy!
so cheers to the next 6 weeks! I really do want this to work so I am going to be keeping a food diary on my livestrong website--
http://www.livestrong.com/profile/sweetdreamer/